I met Nancy for the first time in November of 2016 at her shala, House of Yoga and Zen, on Maui. I was there for a teacher training co-taught by Nancy and Manju Jois.

I wanted to make a favorable first impression so it was important that Nancy see me doing my “best practice”. I studied Ashtanga yoga for only 4 years at this time, so I was still in my infancy as a practitioner. I was especially excited to be learning from Nancy, a woman, and a direct source of the lineage.

To my dismay the very first words she ever said to me were stern, “THERE IS NO ARDHA BHEKASANA IN SECOND SERIES!”, followed by “We don’t do research here!”-she was scolding me for doing some preparatory movements before entering into the full posture of bhekasana. I just finished training with Tim Miller whereby he encouraged lots of “research”, but clearly this was not the place for that! Nancy was true to teaching the method in the exact way she learned it from Pattabhi Jois.

House of Yoga and Zen on Maui - Nancy Gilgoff’s Shala

I should have known that I was in the presence of a woman who did not suffer fools. Nancy never held back to let one know exactly what she was thinking. In some ways it was a relief to be around someone who lived with such clarity and frankness. Her piercing gaze could see right into you, and there was nowhere to hide when she was around. On the flip side, any praise or encouragement I ever received from Nancy also came from this honest place. I felt an affinity and immediate trust in her. I was humbled by her confidence in me.

While Nancy definitely had her way and point of view, she always gave space for ours as students. This was most evident during the pandemic. Shortly after Covid began, Nancy adopted teaching to Zoom which came as a huge surprise, yet a tremendous boon. The first Zoom class with Nancy blew me away. I could hardly believe this legendary teacher’s voice was emanating through the speakers all the way from Maui into my home in real time. She could watch me doing my practice in my tiny NYC studio apartment, meet my dog, and see the small real estate between the foot of my bed and my dresser for which I practiced daily. Simultaneously I felt like I was being transported to Maui as often I could hear the beautiful bird sounds in the background from her side of the screen. The access to her so regularly and consistently was a blessing and silver lining during this scary time.

After the asana practice, she would sit with us over Zoom and lead a discussion for another hour or two. The students who were in class were from all over the world-Australia, Japan, Canada, South America and throughout the United States. These classes went on from Spring 2020-Fall 2022. I attended a majority of them.

During those post class Zoom conferences we heard her stories and got to know Nancy more intimately. We would talk about all things yoga, personal, or world related. Often during these conversations, she would call on me to share my opinion or thoughts which always caught me off guard. I felt unworthy of the platform, but she believed in me and cared what I had to say.

2016 - Nancy teaching me the proper entry into Parighasana.

From 2016-2019 I made an annual trip to Maui with the exception of 2020. As soon as people were traveling again in 2021, I decided to take a trip to Maui to study in person with Nancy. Covid was still a problem, so not much yoga was happening in person, but Nancy welcomed me to visit. I spent ten days with her. Sometimes it was only three or four people in the room, so I received tremendous personal attention and hands on assists. She taught me more of the Advanced B series and said that I was only one of three other people she had ever taught the series.

On that trip in 2021, Nancy invited me for breakfast. I was so honored and nervous, but I brought her flowers and we sat and talked for hours. It felt special to have that personal connection as a mentor and a friend. I left Maui after that visit feeling especially close and continued to maintain closeness from afar with Nancy’s weekly Zoom classes.

August of 2022, I went back to Maui to study with David Swenson. Nancy wasn’t teaching that month in order to make room for David, but she asked if I would meet her for breakfast. I was honored and nervous again, yet I brought her flowers and we sat and talked for hours.

She expressed that she wasn’t feeling well, and brought her own pillow to place on top of the chair. Shockingly she looked much weaker than the previous summer when she was lifting my body into asanas. At that point, Nancy had not seen a doctor about what she claimed were hemorrhoids. She resisted Western medicine to the point where she wouldn’t get a colonoscopy. At one moment in our conversation, she looked me square in the eyes and said, “I am not afraid to die”. “Die?!” What would make you say that?” I thought with despair. In Nancy’s true form, she spoke with clarity and frankness. Even though I felt shocked and unworthy of the confession, I believed her. She knew it was serious.

2018 Nancy and I talking after her workshop in NYC

A couple of months later, Nancy’s health turned into an emergency. She was rushed into surgery and diagnosed with anal cancer. With Maui’s limited health resources, Nancy could not have the proper screening to see if the cancer spread, and yet was too weak to fly to Oahu or the mainland to receive proper treatment. After many months in the hospital and rehabilitation, Nancy wanted to be home. Vanessa, her only child, stretched herself to every end of the earth to make her mother’s wishes come true. Vanessa’s display of strength and her never-ending commitment for Nancy’s care was heartbreaking and beautiful to witness.

August of 2023 I went back to Maui to study with David Swenson. After Nancy’s cancer diagnosis she stopped teaching on Zoom and was bed ridden. A few days into my visit, Vanessa told me that Nancy wanted to see me. Nancy was not into having visitors and she would tire quickly. Very few people had this privilege, so of course I was honored and nervous, but I brought her flowers and sat by her bed and talked with her for an hour. She appeared a fraction of the size from the previous visit. It was traumatic to witness. During that visit Nancy was soft spoken and frail, but her eyes were bright and her gaze was piercing as always.

She was optimistic and told me that she was looking forward to teaching again, traveling to Japan, and maybe relocating to live in Europe where it would be cheaper to live. She told me about her physical therapist who came to the house. He was very stern and pushed her to stand up even though she would cry in pain. The thought of Nancy being pushed around by anyone was comical and we both laughed at this. Despite Nancy’s optimism for the future, for the first time ever, I did not believe her. When I said goodbye that day, I knew it would be for the last time. I think she knew that too.

August 2023 The last bouquet of flowers I gave to Nancy

Nancy meant a lot to me, as she did to so many. I felt like she understood me in ways I didn’t myself. She was keen, insightful, perspective, wise, funny, honest, and kind. During the pandemic we exchanged some emails and she wrote me this one which I will cherish forever. It brings me to tears every time I read it…

Nancy I miss you so much, and I still hear your voice filing up my tiny NYC apartment during my practice. I hope you are finally well, safe, happy, and free.

I Brought Her Flowers - A tribute to my beautiful teacher Nancy Gilgoff

From The Mysore Room To Your Living Room - My Path to Becoming a Private Yoga Teacher